Decisions

So I promise to update more often!

 

Since I am at home now and have nothing to do except take care of Ellie, and try to make this place look semi normal (doesnt always happen, Ellie likes to take up all my time and attention)

 

Today, I almost started feeling a little normal again.

So to be honest I have been having a hard time with my emotions, which I know is normal, but I have dealt with anxiety most of my life. After Zach and I got married I chose to stop taking medication because I just didnt like the way it made me feel, and I just never wanted to be "medicated" it just wasnt for me. I dont really believe in homeopathic methods or talking to a counselor about things, that just wasnt for me either. I usually just cry and talk to my mom and she usually just tells me how it is and that usually snaps me back.. usually. haha

But after having a baby, everything changes, I cant really afford to get into a funk because little Miss Ellie needs me to be the best mommy I can be!

So I made some really rough decisions for me, but it was a decision that was going to be best FOR ME. So I really have to remind myself that it doesnt matter what anyone else thinks! 

I started feeding her out of a bottle about a week ago from milk that I have pumped, but I just felt like I really couldnt keep up, and I was just so overwhelmed!

So after a while of feeling really bad, and overwhelmed, we made a decision as a family to start feeding her formula. It was a really hard decision to make, but I feel like for my sanity it is whats best. So I emailed my doctor on what to do from here and he emailed me back, and at the end of the email he left a little message that made me feel lots better. (reason why I love this doctor and I am going to be so sad to leave this office behind...) it said.. " By the way: Its okay. Your baby can still go to Harvard without being breastfed. :-) Have a great day."  Seriously made my day, he could tell I needed some reassurance and I was extremely grateful for that!

 

She has been doing really well with it. Little cranky, but thats to be expected, its a change for her. But she is so good, and too cute, so its all worth it. Its a little painful for me, but I am getting through it. Hopefully the pain doesnt last too long.

 

oh, and she has started to smile!!

she will be 5 weeks tomorrow.

: ) love her

 

  

Miss Ellie Brooke

I guess I have been slacking a little in the fact that I haven't really posted anything about the birth of my little sweetie girl!

Well it all started at my 37 week appointment. Which you can read about in my previous post.which led to bed rest (which was no fun at all) but then led to getting induced a two weeks early.

So Zach and I called the hospital at 5:30 in the morning of the 4th and they told us to come in at 6:30. So we quickly ate breakfast and packed all of our things, and left our apartment for the last time as just the two of us. We took the very chilly 5 min car ride to the hospital and talked about how weird it was going to be when we go back to our apartment, because it wont just be the two of us.

It was pretty quite at the delivery unit which is kind of crazy because I always hear how busy it is there/ (lots of babies being born here in rexburg!!!) We checked in, got into our room, changed into the beautiful gown, and got things started!!!

At that point I was getting pretty nervous for the things to come. By 7:30 I was hooked up to my IV, started the pitocin, and a magnesium drip (because I had pre eclampsia) and then soon after the doctor came in and broke my water... which let me tell you was a trip, it seriously felt like I was going to the bathroom and couldnt control it! It was so weird. It didnt take long for the contractions to start! They were pretty intense, which I hear in pretty common when put on pitocin. But I felt like I handled them pretty well... which is saying a lot, because lets be honest here, Im kind of a baby. The doctor had strongly encouraged me to have an epidural because of all the pelvic pain I had during my pregnancy. So I knew eventually I would have some relief.
It didnt really take too long before I was ready for it, I got checked and was told I had to have a colt test to make sure my blood would clot so it was safe to get an epidural. I passed (thank goodness) and then got the wonderful epidural. It was kind of nerve wrecking to sit there during some pretty intense contractions and try not to move!
It started to kick in quickly but had a hard time getting both legs, so I waited and the contractions began to soften and it was such a heavenly feeling.

Then things slightly took a turn for the worse.. My epidural started to wear off.. I had so much adrenaline running in my body that I was constantly getting the shakes and then my contractions began to make my whole body feel like it was freaking out, and then the pain came back very quickly! So the nurses called back up the anesthesiologist who the gave me another shot of meds. I seriously couldn't have been more thankful to see anyone ever in my life! After that I couldn't feel anything from the waist down and contractions just felt like pressure.
It didn't take long till the nurses were back to check me again, and good thing too because in the span of about 50 min I went from a four to a ten and it was time to start pushing.

I had such good luck that day because not only did I have my normal nurse but I had a new nurse to the baby unit and a Byu Idaho student in the nursing program about to graduate with me as well. It was so nice to have so much help and support!
So when it was time to start pushing the student nurse and Zach had to help me because I had no feeling in my legs at all and couldn't lift them up. It was seriously a crazy feeling. I thought this would be the hardest part of the whole thing, but honestly I believe it was the easiest. I couldn't feel anything but pressure, and I only had to push for less then an hour. They barely had time to call the doctor, and when he did come in and I was in the position to deliver he only had time to put his robe on before she came out. I didn't even push, she came out with the contraction to a glove less doctor! After that I think I was in more shock than anything else. They laid her on my chest and I just remember looking at Zach and kind of thinking, this is her?! This is real?! But after that things got really fuzzy. The doctor had started to finish things up and I started feeling very warm and flushed and I really didn't know what was going on. They took her off of me because they wee afraid I would drop her, and the next thing I know I have an oxygen mask on and they are giving me a shot and my doctor is working some more. At the time we really didn't know how bad the situation was, but I'm very grateful my doctor kept it a bit under wraps because I definitely feel like I would have freaked out a lot more if I would have known. A few days later we found out I lost a considerable amount of blood and the doctor was having trouble figuring out how to stop it, scary I know! The whole ordeal forced me to stay in the hospital longer than normal. I ended up being stuck in bed for almost a day and a half hooked up to all kinds of stuff and being closely monitored in case I would need a blood transfusion. So on Saturday after our visitors arrived (mom and gram), and I made it around the hall way of the baby and mom unit without passing out, I was able to go home!

To make the next few weeks story a little shorter I will just skip most of the lovely details.. but it was rough... I had a really hard time feeling normal again from the loss of the blood. Miss Ellie is a great baby and I dont know what I would have done without all the help from our families!!

Now we are slowly getting back into the swing of things, and trying to figure out this new life we have together. She is still doing really well!

As of right now she will be 5 weeks on Thursday! I cant believe its been that long already. I already have forgotten what it feels like to be pregnant! Its so weird!

-She loves her Dad and is always really good for him! Well with the exception that he always seems to get the really bad diapers! (Sorry Zach!)
-She hates to have her arms swaddled and they are usually always up by her face.
-She is grunty and snorty all the time! And has to sleep in the other room because of it! thanks goodness for baby monitors!
- She loves to be patted on the back and thats usually how she falls asleep.
- She eats out of a bottle like a champ, but doesnt take a Binky that much.
- She loves to be in the water in her bath, but hates getting out!
-She blows bubbles with her mouth when she is sleeping.
-She is the bestest little girl ever, and we love her so much!!!

 

 

 

Leaving the hospital!

 

Rarely wears head bands because she gets really mad!

 

Happy Halloween

 

shes kind of little : )

 

 

Didnt want to get out of the bath!

 

yesterday!

Life

All kinds of things have been happening lately. I've had some ups and downs, but I'm grateful for the people in my life that have been there for it all.

A few weeks ago my dad passed away unexpectedly. It always hard to loose someone especially a parent. I wasn't able to go home because I was too far along in my pregnancy to fly, which made it even harder. I put a lot on my sisters shoulders, but I'm so proud of her and how strong she has been through everything. I have had such great support from friends and family both here and at home which has made me so very grateful.

As for baby Ellie, she is doing fine, me on the other hand, well that's another story! Last Thursday I went in for my check up (37 weeks) and found out some scary news. My blood pressure was high and I had a very high level of protein in my urine. (Tmi? Sorry!) which are signs of pre-eclampsia. So we sat down with the doctor and went over what needed to happen. First I was checked and found out I was dilated to a 1 and 80% effaced, which ruled out having to do a c-section because my body was getting ready. Then I had a non-stress test where the hooked me up to the fetal monitors for 20ish minuets and tracked contractions and the babies heart rate, and she did fine. Then I got an ultra sound to check the amniotic fluid and to make sure she was doing okay. She was. Then.. (Teas I know, long list) I got some blood drawn. Phew! So basically they poked prodded and did everything tossed sure baby and I were good! I had to do a 24 urine sample (yuck) and then after all was said in done bed rest... Strict bed rest was the answer. After all the test came back we found out I am positive for pre-eclampsia.

So I went back to the doctor this past Monday. Got checked again.. Got my membranes stripped, a non-stress test and all the normal check up stuff. My blood pressure was still high, protein level didn't change, so instead of waiting till things got worse my doctor said lets induce!
Let me tell you, I couldn't have been more excited! Bed rest is basically driving me insane! It's so uncomfortable and I just feel completely anxious about everything!
I'm ready for her to be here so I know she is okay!
So we call Thursday morning to get our time to go in and we couldn't be more excited/anxious!!
It's finally all starting to sink in and feel real, and I'm getting a bit nervous! But definitely ready!

past few weeks update!

Its been a while since I last posted, so I thought I would give everyone a little update!

 

Since last time, Zach is officially HOME!

He actually surprised me and ended up coming home a day early! Literally scared the living daylights out of me! (and got it on video.... I would share the video, but lets just say I was looking my best!)

He came home with a co-worker and got to show him so good ol' Idaho fishing! (of course thats what he does the first thing he gets home! )

 

We then got to spend a few days together just hanging out, rearranging the apartment, and getting things back to normal.

{hanging out at the mall... buy three get one free....Zachs idea of a snack}

 

Then headed down to Utah for one of his mission companions weddings where Zach got to be a cute little groomsman at the reception! It was a fun time going down to Utah, but boy oh boy did it wear me out! Im not used to the traveling, or the all day festivities! It was a trip and a half to say the least. (forgetting our church clothes, and then having to try to find something to fit this pregnant body didnt help the situation either!!!!) 

{my swollen feets!!}

We also got to spend some time with both sides of Zachs family thats down there, which is always great! Oh and of course, ate at In N Out! So Yummy! I think I could eat those french fries every single day! Makes my mouth water just thinking about those and a chocolate shake! yummmmm

We also got to go to a Babies R Us, which we dont have here and get some things for Pink Baby! She now finally has somewhere to sleep and a cover for her carseat to keep her all nice and toasty! Thank you coupons!

 

When we came back from our weekend get a way Zach had the monday off, but then headed back to work at the safety office at BYU-I.( Hes a very hard working guy, and I am so grateful for his dedication and working so hard for our little fam! ) So Monday we took a little trip out to Swan Valley so Zach could do a little fishing. It wasnt that great of fishing, so it was a little disappointing of a trip, and probably a little difficult with a pregnant sleepy wife that doesnt like to squat in the bushes... So the trip didnt really last all that long (I felt bad)

 

This past Thursday we picked up our next set of visitors at the airport for their week trip! Zachs dad and little brother Jesse came from Iowa to do their fishing trip before school starts back again for the boys. They did it last year and had a blast, so they had to have a repeat trip before Zach and I move out of fishing paradise. So they are up in Yellowstone fishing away and probably in 7th Heaven!

I get to stay home and finally relax because the weather here in Idaho is finally cooling off... Im wearing long sleeves if that tells you anything!!!! Its wonderful!

 

As for baby stats...

-I will be 34 weeks pregnant on thursday ( 8.5 months pregnant)

-Her head is down which creates so problems with my hips, and makes things a tad bit painful.. but good because thats where she is suppose to be!

-At my 31 week ultrasound (checking for  placenta previa) they estimated her weight to be around 4 lbs. which averaged out will make her 7.5-8 lb. baby.  (but lets me honest here, how accurate are those things anyway! haha)

- Her heartbeat is usually around 150 bpm

- she moves around all the time and makes it hard to sleep! (Just like Zach)

- Overall we are both doing well, and just trucking along for 6 more weeks!

 

The closer I get the more anxious and excited I get! Im so excited to see what she looks like, and what features she gets from which side of the family... will she have light hair... will she have dark hair like she does in my dreams?  Will she be a huge baby like my family has, will she be long? Im just so excited!

and I just cant wait to hold her!!!

 

 

{keeping myself busy making cute bows! I know the left one is huge!}

 

positive-ness

I had this cranky post written up when I was feeling uber pregnat and not so great about myself, and basically just put down everything I was feeling into a post... But I decided it was too negative and decided no one really wants to read that stuff anyway!

so heres a positive post!

As you can very well see, the blog got not only a facelift,  but a name change as well. My old blog name was too complicated and had really nothing to do with me, so here it a more simple one for you... so now please follow ZandKZmoos.blogspot.com! thanks

So I have this friend Amanda, who is pregnant with her second little cutie.. and she post these great little updates about her pregnancy and so I thought it would be a fun way to update everyone on mine!

How far along? 30 weeks 2 days-give or take  :)

Total weight gain/loss: if you really want to know, I will tell you, but its not a pretty number, lets just say Ive gained probably more than I should...
Maternity clothes?  Mostly, except yoga pants and big t-shirts.

Stretch marks?  surprisingly, not on my stomach.
Best moment this week: Daddy- aka Zachary comes home!!!!!!

Miss anything: lots: Zach, Sleep, sweets without heartburn, being able to bend over, cool weather... the list could continue for a long time... 

Movement: yes, doesnt seems like as much as she used to, but I just think she is running out of room!

Food cravings: Chocolate. Which is weird, because most who know me, know I dont really like chocolate that much.

Anything making you queasy or sick:  no, I still have yet to get sick. beside the spell of heat exhaustion when I got back from Florida.

Have you started to show yet: yes, then some. My mom says it looks like I am going to tip over... she is so nice to me sometimes! ha ha jk I only joke mom!

Gender: girl aka pink baby.
And I have come to the conclusion that even when she does have a real name, I feel like its going to be hard to stop calling her pink baby... pretty much everyone calls her that now.

Labor Signs: I think Ive been having Braxton Hicks, and those arent so great..

Belly Button in or out? kind of in, kind of out. Pokes out a little on the right side after I am really full!

Wedding rings on or off? Off and has been off for quite some time... makes me a little sad.

Happy or Moody most of the time: lets see... my husbands been gone since april... I will let you decide. : )

Looking forward to: Having Zach back home and being done with work!! Only two more shifts and Im finished with Bear World!

Funny moment this week: this might be too much information... But lately I have found I cant control my bladder as well as I once could, so now I find myself running to that bathroom when I have to go... and well yesterday, didnt quite make it all the way in time. laugh if you must...

so there ya go... lovely right : )

So Zach will officially be home tomorrow and I couldnt be more excited! Ive been cleaning and getting things ready for him to come home. I have kind of taken over the closet, So Im not exactly sure where he is going to put any of his things... but Im just ready to have him home!  I think he will be very surprised at home much pink we have accumulated in these last few months since he has been away! 

Real People!

I have always said that I can't wait until Zach and I are finally real people. What is a real person you ask? well basically a non-college person in the "Real world"

I have been in Idaho for 5 years now, and I am really ready for the next step!

We seem to be entering the real people world at record speed!

As everyone knows we are expecting our little baby girl in October, and we couldn't be more excited about it. There is nothing like entering the real world like entering it with a new little baby!

Then a few short weeks after that Zach will graduate from college with his degree in health science!

I am so excited for him and for his accomplishments! A dad and a college graduate in just two months!

And.. drum roll please... He will not only be a dad and a college graduate, but a full time employee with Freeport in El Paso Texas as an Industrial Hygienist!

Yes, that's right folks. Right after graduation we will be moving our little family down to Texas to start our new journey there! We couldn't be more excited and more ready for this new step in our lives!! I'm so proud of Zach and all that he has accomplished, and so grateful for this job opportunity working with such great people and a great company!

so being apart for the summer i guess sure paid off :)



29 weeks

Today I went to the doctor, I'm on the every two weeks visits now. Everything is looking fine, babies heart beat is normal, blood pressure is normal, weight gain... well thats been high from the start so thats nothing new. But since Im getting closer to the end the talk of delivery has started to come up more now.
Dont get me wrong, I have thought about it a lot, but i kind of alwaysp knew it would take some time to get to that point, so I havent put too much thought into everything. Lets be honest here, if I did I probably would have been freaking out much more this whole pregnancy. haha
Anywho, I dont have a "birth plan" if you will, but I kind of just have the mentality that the doctor will tell me whats the safest and best way to do things, and thats what I will do.
At my 20 week check up/ ultra sound I was told my placenta is looking pretty low and its just something we would have to keep on eye on as we go down the road. Now that its getting closer its come up again. In two weeks I will go in for another ultra sound to check out the placenta and make sure everything is normal there. If it isnt, then its looking like a c-section will be scheduled. If its fine, then we will just go on like normal.
THEN, I will have another ultra sound around 37 weeks to check the babies weight. Since my faimly history isnt exactly working in my favor (big babies), I could possibly have a few different things happen. 1 could be induced early, but that comes with its own set of risks (not sounding too wonderful to me) or 2. have a c-section. My doctor is very good at making me relaxed about all of the options, so like I said, I'm not freaking out too much... yet. He told me he wouldnt let me have a normal delivery with a 9 +lbs. baby, because there are all kinds of problems that can come from that.
So at this point, I feel very good about everything. And hey, if I do have a c-section thats kind of like picking the birthday! 10-11-12 anyone?! how cool would that be?!

would you like some sugar with that sugar!?

27 weeks today
So today I had my glucose test. I was actually kind of worried about it. I have had a bit of a large amount of weight gain during my pregnancy (bit is an understatement, I dont care how many people tell me I look good... the scale dont lie!) So I was a little concerned that I was going to fail it. I like my sweets.. what can I say!

So I woke up after a semi-sleepless night (again) and tried the lovely fruit punch flavored sugar. It honestly wasnt as bad as I thought it was going to be. It burned a little bit going down, but I think thats because sugar things lately give me heart burn, but other than that it wasnt the worst thing ever!

I waited around for a while then headed to the doctors office. By the time I got there it started kicking in and I felt all jittery and icky. So they took my blood, checked me out, and sent me on my way. Babys heart is 145 bpm, Im measure big (surprise surprise) and I gained more weight (surprise surprise). So all in all, we are doing just fine! I guess I'm just going to have lots of work to do after this babe comes into the world to loose the weight I gained. Its a tad bit on the defeating side, and I really try not to let it bug me, but sometimes its just a little hard.

After the appointment was over I went home and tried to take a nap, but by that time the sugar had reached the baby and she was doing flips for about a half an hour... So I ate lunch instead.

I also got my hair cut this afternoon by a good friend of mine! I really just need something a little different, and lets me honest, who doesnt love going to the salon and getting someone to do your hair! It was great to catch up and feel pampered! She is having a little girl too just three weeks after I am, so its fun to talk about all our pregnancy troubles!

All in all it was a pretty successful day. I didnt get a call from the doctors office, so I am assuming that means I didnt fail. Thank goodness!

Now onto appointments every two weeks, and we have an ultra sound in 4 weeks. (which Zach will be home for!! I cant wait for him to see his little girl!!)

Trying to stay positive

Laying here awake at a quarter to twelve is not a real fun time. The last few nights have been a struggle in the sleep department. My theory.. Pink baby is just getting me ready for the lack of sleep I will probably get for the next.. Forever. "they" say the first trimester sucks because your nauseous, can't eat anything.. Blah blah. Which for me didn't really happen, I did however have issues with headaches which caused some sleepless nights. Then apparently the second trimester things are suppose to level out. Your suppose to feel better sleep better.. Yadda Yadda. Which it has been better, if you don't count the heart burn. (good thing it doesn't happen everyday) but now I am a week and a day away from my third trimester (I think ) and it already feels like its here!! My last doctors appointment confirmed that pink baby is probably going to be big. I've have a pretty large amount of weight gain ( enter sad face) and am measuring just a bit ahead, aka big baby.

I've been having lots more back/hip pain, which is making sleeping way more of a challenge. I'm lucky if I only get up in the night three times to go to the bathroom, some nights it's one every hour. Oh and back to the back thing, you know how most people have a dip/curve to their lower back.. ( well I did anyway) well now that's all filled out! Crazy, what the heck is back there?! It's crazy to think how jumbled everything gets in there!

I have my wonderful glucose test on Thursday, which I've heard such great things about.. I'm crossing my fingers I don't fail! Or throw up.

But if anyone wants to tell me how the heck I'm suppose to sleep for the next few months, that would be greatly appreciated.

Here are some pics, which is the reason most ppl look at blogs anyway! Haha

family time!

Well, well..

These last few weeks sure have been eventful!!

My sister, her husband, and my nephew came out to visit all the way from Iowa. What a long drive for a two year old.. but he was a champ and did very well!!

We did all the usual things

yellowstone/west yellowstone montana

jackson hole

mesa falls

bear world

it was a fun and fast few days, and call it pregnancy hormones if you will, but I had a really hard time after they left. It really hits you sometimes how hard it is to be away from your home and your family. Not a lot of my family has been out here to Idaho except my grandparents, so it was really nice to be able to show someone else where I have been living for the past 5 years. Not to mention it was a great time with my sister. Shes always been kind of my "mom-away-from-mom" and we never really had much of a chance to be just sisters, so the time with her and her family was really great to have... seeing as Zach and I dont really have any plans to move anywhere close to Iowa.

After they left to go back home, I had a day to pack up my things and then
I headed to Florida to meet up with Zach. It was a really long road to get there

first:

I took a shuttle to salt lake

waited 2 hours in the airport

took a 1 and 15 min flight to denver

then rushed to my next gate..hurry and got a sandwich..

then flew 3 hours and 20 min to Tampa. (with a 45 min wait on the plane because the wind decided to change directions screwing up the flight plan for all the planes...)

then waited 20 min in the airport to meet Zachary!!

then we headed to our hotel and stayed up wayy too late catching up and of course me having to eat again!

We had a really fun time in Florida. We visited some beaches just south of tampa and headed to Maderia which is the beach my family always goes to. Then we headed back up north to my moms. It was great to see her happy Florida house! We spent a little time in Orlando,  but mostly just hung out and relaxed! Zach got to go fishing with my uncle Al and got a little fishing fix until he gets back out here. We had a really fun time and really didnt want to leave! I wasnt sad to leave the humidity however! yuck... Thank you dry heat!

The traveling back was almost unbareable and I seriously thought I could cry on more than one occasion! But I made it... and then headed back to work the next day... lovely I know.

thoughts of today...

As I sit here on my couch... after having just ate a bowl of cookie dough ice cream... thinking about my day...

I went to the doctor for my regular check up.. and dont worry everything is just fine with baby girl...But me on the other hand well lets just say I have gained quite a bit of weight this last month.

It was seriously such a huge shock for me to see the weight on the scale, because i honestly didnt think I had gained that much. Maybe in my belly, but nothing else felt "bigger"

My doctor said that he wasnt concerned about it because we just make big babies in my family, and that if it started to be a concern he would let me know.

Next month is my glucose test, so I will know if there is anything more to be worried about.

In the last few weeks I have really started to feel pregnant, and that I am getting rounder.

I feel her move a lot more and a lot stronger than before. She likes to move around early in the morning (just like her dad) and then late at night (just like her mom), then we I eat really sweet snacks! haha

I have started to retain a little water and I really wish it would move away from my face and just go somewhere else... but thats just not the case.

But in all of this "uncomfortable-ness" I cant help but think how lucky I am to have this little miracle in the first place.. So I will take it all in stride and just keep trucking along.

: )

grateful

There have been quite of few things that I have been super grateful for lately!

1. My Zachary- Even though he is far away he always reminds me of how much he is proud of me and for the things that I am doing here on my own. I dont give him enough credit sometimes, but it really makes things better when he tells me how proud he is of me.

2. My close friends I have here in Idaho. I really cant say enough how much it has helped to have people here that I know care about me! 

3. Awesome clearance deals! seriously I hit the mother load the other day.

I went to Walmart and saw that they had some packs of Gerber onsies on sale.. ($2 off) and I thought to myself, Im going to come and get some tomorrow. I had to go to work and really didnt have a lot of time, so I left and thought I will come back tomorrow. And so I did, and boy was I happy I waited a day. As soon as Aysia and I walked to the baby section they lady was marking them down to $1...CAN YOU SAY AWESOME!!! So I stocked up... Baby Girl ( or Pink Baby as Grayson calls her) is pretty much stocked up on onsies till she is three years old!!!!! Not to mention I bought a three pack of sleepers, some hats to match, two packs of bibs(3 in each), theree pairs of shoes, and three pairs of pants... I think that was it. But I only spent $30!! Talk about bargain shopping! I knew my mom would be so proud!!!

4. Surprise presents!

This week I received a surprise from my mother-in-law- a cute little taggies outfit so beautifully wrapped from Von Maur!

&

Some of the cutest TINY TOMS from my friend Emily from back home.. who actually lives out west now as well!!

So very grateful!

&&

So very happy, baby girl will be 23 weeks tomorrow. Getting closer!

: )

I was seriously so shocked when both came. Im pretty sure I cried! (you can blame it on the hormones or just the fact that they were so incredible nice!!!)

Happy Day!!

So a while back Zach and I got this mac g5 and we were so excited about it because I could use it for my photo stuff, and it was something we could put more memory into and yadda yadda....
But we didn't not have the time, smarts, or want to put something into a computer that wasn't really working. It froze a lot and would pop up with this crazy error that was written in I think just about every language there is, and then just turn off... loosing all of the work I was doing. It was really frustrating and the computer was slightly huge, so I just said lets cut our loses and get rid of it!!! So I sold it. Which was harder than I thought it was going to be. I was a little sad to say that I literally had no computer, even though I rarely even turn that one on. So we did some research and found some suitable laptops for a good price, and then Zach gave me the dreaded..."its your decision" Ughh I hate that one, it always feel like a ton of bricks on my shoulders, and that's no light decision like where to eat for dinner, that's like a chunk of change that would be leaving our bank account.

Then today Zach called me after work like he usually does, but he was surprisingly pleasant and sounded really pleased... then he told me we had some extra money coming in that he didn't expect and that I should go get the computer we talked about!!! I was so excited! It seriously made my day!

I am no longer a full time Mac user, which I know, I know.. I always said I would never go back. But in this day in age, and in this economy, a working computer is golden!!! So I was sold!

So I now have a working computer! And I feel like I can finally blog like a normal person again! No more cell phone blogging!

And of course I celebrated by watching this last Monday's episode of Bachelorette and a snoasis! Lovely indeed!

Other than my new wonderful computer, I have been getting very uncomfortable lately. I seriously feel like within the last few days baby girl has doubled. There is definitely no mistaking that I am pregnant now, and baby girl likes to sit on all kinds of stuff in there making my back and belly hurt. Don't get me wrong, I will take it all just to know that she is healthy and safe in there. But it sure has been making sleep a little more difficult. I was kind of comparing my "baby bump" size to the average 22 week, and I have decided that I am really happy that she seems to be a big baby. I kind of knew it was going to be that way, seeing as I was the smallest baby in my immediate family at 10lbs. 1 oz. (yes, I know, my poor mother... she also had a 12 pounder, so really I was easy!) I think it will be a little bit of an easier transition after she is born if she is a little bigger. They always seem to be less breakable that way!  (most mothers already are probably like yeah right... shes crazy.. try delivery.. But I'm surprisingly not scared about it at all... that's all just temporary, and if I can survive being thrown from a moving SUV going 75 down the highway, I'm pretty sure I can survive quite a bit)

All in all things are still good, seeing my sister here in a few days and Zach in just a few more after that. I am really excited for the next few weeks. It will be a great break for the summer!

I haven't really talked much about my experience with my road to pregnancy just because it was always a very touchy subject. Most people that are close to me kind of know the struggles we went through in getting pregnant in the first place, but it's not something I ever really wanted to share with the whole world. It a very sensitive subject and it was something I really struggled with for quite some time.
I certainly do believe that everything has its time, and I've come to realize that more and more as things happen in my life. But the time leading up to this pregnancy was a trying time. To make a long story short, we were going to the doctor to get some questions answered, but we never got to find out why it was taking so long because we got pregnant before we could find out! we feel very blessed to have this baby coming into our lives, and believe it truly happened at the right time.

I find myself thinking about all of this quite a bit lately. With Zach being gone this summer I have really had to pick myself up and get things done on my own. Which, I admit, has been a struggle at times with all these crazy changes I'm going through. But it just makes me realize that even though it's hard, I have really learned that I kind of needed this time to know how strong of a person I really can be. ( even strong women can have a few "mental breakdowns" once in a while) ;) and all of it makes me really appreciate the things that Zach does or me on a daily basis, and not to mention the huge sacrifice he is making by working this summer so far away to better our family.

I try to remind myself of these things when I'm feeling blue or just plain icky( aka heartburn, or achy belly) and it always makes me think of the bright side of it all. I'm so happy to have this baby and couldn't be more excited about her arrival into this world! And don't they say heartburn equals hair!? I hope she gets Zachs curls!

I found this picture on pinterest ( of course) and thought it was nice!

There's water in the basement and the pilot light is out...

Name that movie?!?

Oceans 13( I think, well it's one of the oceans...)

Anywho, I had my first experience with a pilot light. I am pretty sure I knew what it was before, but I had no idea how to light it or why is even went out in the first place. But the other night I get all ready to take my shower and dundundun... No hot water!!!! I was so worried, and I didn't know what to do! So I went up to my neighbors and see if he could get it started... Nothing! Darn thing wouldnt stay on! So I washed my hai in cold water and went to bed! The fix it guy came to fix it the next night, but you never really realize how much you miss hot water when you don't have it!

I also recently found out that my job doesn't allow me to take any time off in July, so my plan to go home at the end of July isn't going to happen anymore! :(
I am really sad that i don't get to go back home, but Zach and I have planned to go home after graduation so the baby can make her Iowa appearance, and we both get the chance to be home!

I have been stocking up on the baby goods! So far I have
- a few outfits/bibs (great deal at Dillard's)
- lots of onsies! ( thanks mom and Abbie!!)
- some more clothes my mom got
- & some more outfits my sister got for her!!
- her new car seat
- a bouncy seat
- and now I'm redoing some burp cloths with cute fabric on the back!

1/2 way!

So I'm official half way done with my pregnancy! It's exciting an nerve wrecking all wrapped into one!
I just bought a car seat online, thanks target baby sale!! And I hit some awesome sales on Carter's stuff at Dillard's!! So she now will have a seat to ride in, and a few clothes to wear!
(all pink clothes... Zach is in trouble!!)

I have been super lucky because I really haven't had any troubles or sicknesses, other than the fact that my husband is a 20 hour drive from here! I have finally started getting a bit of heart burn, but if that doesn't last... I will be just fine!! Oh and of course trouble sleeping, but that just makes for good afternoon naps!

I have finally started feeling her wiggle around in there, which is a very cool feeling. The first time was while I was giving free samples of fudge at work and I had a super awkward look on my face... And so the family was like uhh?.. So I told them and got the biggest congrats! It was pretty cool!

I'm so very excited that it's June!! I have a lot to look forward to. My sister, her husband and my nephew are coming out here to visit me! Then at the end of the month Zach and I are meeting in Florida! I miss him, and it's going to be an awesome trip!!!!

Oh and I finally got my comfy new shoes in the mail! Hopefully my feet feel wonderful now!!!!

Oh and I found the most beautiful diaper bag!!! Too bad it's a pretty penny!!!

Uh oh!! Zach is in trouble

Why you ask?


Hi, I'm baby Zmoos... And I'm a girl!!!!!

2 weeks down.

Zach and I have officially survived two weeks apart. And only have 48ish (I think I might have forgotten to take a chain of the paper chain countdown) days till fun in the sun in florida!!

It's been a rough two weeks, talking on the phone gets kind of boring after a while! But we are making it work! We talk about the baby lots, and thank goodness for modern technology! We Skype when we finally have good enough Internet so Zach can see how big my belly is getting!

I start working at bear world full time this week and I'm feeling really good about it. I really enjoy it there and the people are really great! Not to mention I finally got to go on a tour!! The bears( even though really huge) are actually really cute! Scary, but cute!! They wave and sit on their butts and wait for you to give them a treat! It was a good tour, even the the bus made me a little sea sick. I'm so great full to be able to work this summer and glad that it's at bear world!

Onto other news.. This last Wednesday I come home to a weird looking package at my door.. It said Zachary, so I bought it in! Under further inspection I noticed t said Toms shoes.. So of course I throw everything in my hands on the floor and rip open the box... And of course... Started bawling... Thanks hormones. Zachie bought me toms loves moms shows for mothers day! It surprised and shocked me, 1 because Zach has to be hundreds of miles away to finally keep a gift a secret, and 2 that I'm actually going to be the mom! That's kind of crazy! But then I immediately changed my clothes do they would match and went to the grocery store :)

Only three weeks until we fin out.. Little boy? Little girl? :)

Pictures:

16

Today I am 16 weeks!
The time actually seemed to go by quickly!
16 weeks means: I'm 4 months, 4 weeks away from finding out what it is, I will start feeling it soon, I'm still just as tired, but I haven't had a head ache in a while! (knock on wood)

Zach left last Friday, and it has definitely been an adjustment since he has been gone. I miss him tons, but we are going to florida at the end of June, so i do have that to look forward to.

I started work in the gift shop at Yellowstone bear world, and I really like it. Great people and great atmosphere to work in!

Other than that I've been keeping myself busy with sewing projects and resting ( I think I caught a cold)