10 things on my mind

Updating again, craziness I know! 

Whenever I finally sit down to write on this thing I know I have like a million things to say, but I just can never seem to remember them. 

1. Im too lame to use buy good shampoo so I have been using Sauve professionals keratin infusion... and its actually really nice.  Leaves my hair super smooth, and my hair doesnt get as gross as fast. So two thumbs up please. 

2. My child is a complete mix of her father and me, he was a very hyperactive child and I was a little bit a diva child. Which honestly makes me wonder how I make it through some days. We get the days where she is so unbearably crabby and sassy, or the days where she is bouncing from wall to wall in this little apartment. 

But dont get me wrong, she is still very sweet! 

3. This weather lately here in El Paso has been so wonderful. Nice cool breeze, a little rain, some clouds. HEAVEN. Its been so great! I hope this lasts for a little while. Its great. 

4. Im going home for two weeks! Well Ellie and I are. We are so excited. We are going to hang out and relax and have fun with family. 

5. Grocery shopping gives me the same feeling as nails on a chalk board. I feel like I spend so much money and never really get a lot. 

6. Ellie can hold her own bottle. Even without her handle bars. Its a big time life saver sometimes. Its so nice to hand her a bottle and get things done while she is distracted and not trying to get into something. 

7. Zach decided he was going to start swimming again, which he goes to the pool before work three days a week. I am really proud of him for sticking with it and going at the you know what crack of dawn. 

Now I, on the other hand, am not that disciplined. I am not a morning person so waking up early to work out just sounds like about the worst thing ever. After Zach gets home from work and we have dinner and get Ellie fed the motivation has done left the building. So when do I get in a "workout"? 

Thats my problem, I dont know. Honestly I am to admit something, I dont really do it in the first place, I lost all my baby weight by just having a hyperactive child I guess. Which, dont get me wrong, Im NOT complaining about this one bit! But I did gain a lot  HUGE amount of weight when I was pregnant with Ellie. So now I have lots of extra skin and stuff that i need to tone up. 

But when and what do I do?

I went swimming last night and honestly, it felt good getting back into the water, but it felt like it took way more time than I think im willing to give up. I didnt get to get Ellie ready for bed or spend any time with Zach after he got home. We had do grocery shop (ughh) and then dinner, and then I went and swam while he spent time with Ellie and got her ready for bed and fed her a bottle, then I had to come home and shower off because chlorine makes me itchy... and yadda yadda yadda... 

It just seemed like it was a lot more work then I wanted to put in. Not to mention the fact that I dont feel the same in the water that I used to. Not saying that I was super good by any means. I just felt dizzy and uncoordinated in the water, something I never had issues with before... so long story short. I think swimming is fun every once in a while but I think I will be hanging up my goggles for a while. 

So now what should I do? I do have a gym at my apartment complex, but what do I do with Ellie, shes not exactly one of those babies that will just sit still and watch. I tried insanity--not my thing.

I really wish my Wii actually worked so I could do Zumba at home and not have to sign up for an expensive class! (maybe i should just buy a new one for myself for a birthday present?) 

8. I love soda wayyy more than I really should. Its a problem. Lame, I know.

9. I really would like a closet make over. Most of my clothes no long fit. Which I am totally not complaining about, please dont get me wrong. Its just not exactly fun to not have too many clothes that fit properly. But again, not complaining about loosing the weight. 

10. 

Getting new things in the etsy that Im really excited about. So please check it out if you can. And a big thank you to those who have supported the shop! 

I believe that is all I can squeeze out of my head at the moment. 

I probably have way more to complain/talk/bore you with but Ill leave those for another time. 

terrible.. 9 months?...

I promised that I would be better about blogging, so if my topics come out a little lame. Just put up with me please. 

I have been having a hard time lately with my little peanut. Shes such a sweet cute little girl, but she is just a little terror sometimes and lets be honest I really don't think I can blame this all on teething. She has gotten so sassy lately and I am really not sure what to do, its not like a 9 month old will listen to reason. And I seriously think the word no is never going to stick with her.

She has taken a liking to tags: like tags on clothing, or tags on toys, or just basically anything that she is really not suppose to have. She clings to non-toys and doesn't exactly do well when you take them away.. like full fledged big girl meltdown, like bucks her head back and throws a fit with alligator tears rolling down her checks. I don't know what the heck I am suppose to do.

Like right now for instance. She is in her crib screaming at me.. because she wouldnt drink her bottle and kept reaching for things that shes not suppose to like: wii remote, tv remote, blinds, my glasses, climbing up me and pulling my hair... you know the usual, instead of eating. 

Its been slightly challenging to go anywhere or do anything with the two of us. Because she gets a little moody and pushing a cart or stroller while carrying her is just do much fun.

I have tried really hard to stay positive, but sometimes I just feel like staying in and not going anywhere. (sorry friends) Its a lot easier and a lot cooler, this El Paso heat doesn't make having a cranky baby any easier. I'm really hoping that when her teeth come in (all four top teeth at once, ugh!!) that she will become a little more well mannered.

check me out

Ellie will be 9 months old on July 4th! I really cant believe how fast time has gone. my pregnancy seemed to last way longer than this 9 months has. 

She is getting so big! 

Shes stands up for around 10 seconds or so all on her own. She walks across the living room with her walker toy. 

She eats like a champ. Shes up to 8 oz bottles. Loves to eat her little puff treats. Her favorite foods are anything with bananas in it, sweet potatoes, and chicken noodle! (all baby food of course) Im still kind of scared to start on real people food. She has tried a few things, but im just really nervous. 

She started saying baaaa baaaa baaaa baaa.. its so cute... and repetitive..  : )

She is still sleeping through the night, and no matter what time she goes to bed, she wakes up at 7. 

She has to sleep with her crochet blanket and her glow baby, aka glow worm which looks more like a baby then a worm if you ask me. 

 

Shes a little swimming cutie! She loves to frog kick her legs and splash mommy! We have even taken the huge step in going under the water. I was so scared the first time, but after some convincing on the part of my experienced mommy swimming buddies we took the plunge. literally. She did so so great!

 Of course she had to have her own pool for off days. 

shes so cute!

Forgot again... Oops

So blogging apparently isnt going so well for me. But it is so much easier to post on instagram and facebook, then trying to come up with witty and funny things to say... ha.. ha.. jokes.

But seriously, I feel bad I have been slacking on my blog. Are there any avid readers still out there..?

For those still reading, life in Texas is going alright. Its really hot here, and sometimes its a little unbearable to leave the house. So we go to the pool lots. We have had a really great groupof friends with littles around Ellies age that all get together twice a week and swim! Ellie is actually starting to like splashing around in the pool! 

Zach is working hard and doing well at his new job. He also got into Tulane for grad school! Go starting in August he will be going to school online and working full time. 

Ellie started crawling in April and now goes and does pretty much whatever she wants! She stands up to everything she can and walks behind her walker toy. We have even caught her standing on her own for a good ten seconds or so. She's a gutsy little thing, I blame her dads genes. 

We are so excited for the rest of the summer! We have all kinds of fun planned. The 4th is right around the corner which seems so crazy and so fast! This year has flown by! Ellie and I are going home for two weeks! We get to see new baby Harper and go to the state fair! I'm so excited!!! Then when we get back all three of us are going to California to see Sam and Jake! We are so excited to get to spend a few days with them and have some much needed fun time! 

Tada!!!

Holy cow
Remember that one time when I said I would updated more, yeah well I'm sorry life got in the way.. That usually tends to happen. Let me update you a little...

Zachary graduated from BYU-Idaho
We packed up our entire apartment and sent it with abf who then moved it to El Paso.
Ellie Karen mike and I got on a plan and headed to Iowa! I was so nervous but Ellie did great!
Zachary joined us a few days later after he and his brother drove our cars to Texas.
We had a great time at home for Christmas.
Then moved to Texas!
It's taken us some time to get everything unpacked, and lets be honest it's still not totally done. But it's starting to feel more like home.

Ellie will be four months old tomorrow, which seems so crazy to me! She's getting so big! She is making all kinds of funny noises and smiling all the time. She's such a cutie!

Decisions

So I promise to update more often!

 

Since I am at home now and have nothing to do except take care of Ellie, and try to make this place look semi normal (doesnt always happen, Ellie likes to take up all my time and attention)

 

Today, I almost started feeling a little normal again.

So to be honest I have been having a hard time with my emotions, which I know is normal, but I have dealt with anxiety most of my life. After Zach and I got married I chose to stop taking medication because I just didnt like the way it made me feel, and I just never wanted to be "medicated" it just wasnt for me. I dont really believe in homeopathic methods or talking to a counselor about things, that just wasnt for me either. I usually just cry and talk to my mom and she usually just tells me how it is and that usually snaps me back.. usually. haha

But after having a baby, everything changes, I cant really afford to get into a funk because little Miss Ellie needs me to be the best mommy I can be!

So I made some really rough decisions for me, but it was a decision that was going to be best FOR ME. So I really have to remind myself that it doesnt matter what anyone else thinks! 

I started feeding her out of a bottle about a week ago from milk that I have pumped, but I just felt like I really couldnt keep up, and I was just so overwhelmed!

So after a while of feeling really bad, and overwhelmed, we made a decision as a family to start feeding her formula. It was a really hard decision to make, but I feel like for my sanity it is whats best. So I emailed my doctor on what to do from here and he emailed me back, and at the end of the email he left a little message that made me feel lots better. (reason why I love this doctor and I am going to be so sad to leave this office behind...) it said.. " By the way: Its okay. Your baby can still go to Harvard without being breastfed. :-) Have a great day."  Seriously made my day, he could tell I needed some reassurance and I was extremely grateful for that!

 

She has been doing really well with it. Little cranky, but thats to be expected, its a change for her. But she is so good, and too cute, so its all worth it. Its a little painful for me, but I am getting through it. Hopefully the pain doesnt last too long.

 

oh, and she has started to smile!!

she will be 5 weeks tomorrow.

: ) love her

 

  

Miss Ellie Brooke

I guess I have been slacking a little in the fact that I haven't really posted anything about the birth of my little sweetie girl!

Well it all started at my 37 week appointment. Which you can read about in my previous post.which led to bed rest (which was no fun at all) but then led to getting induced a two weeks early.

So Zach and I called the hospital at 5:30 in the morning of the 4th and they told us to come in at 6:30. So we quickly ate breakfast and packed all of our things, and left our apartment for the last time as just the two of us. We took the very chilly 5 min car ride to the hospital and talked about how weird it was going to be when we go back to our apartment, because it wont just be the two of us.

It was pretty quite at the delivery unit which is kind of crazy because I always hear how busy it is there/ (lots of babies being born here in rexburg!!!) We checked in, got into our room, changed into the beautiful gown, and got things started!!!

At that point I was getting pretty nervous for the things to come. By 7:30 I was hooked up to my IV, started the pitocin, and a magnesium drip (because I had pre eclampsia) and then soon after the doctor came in and broke my water... which let me tell you was a trip, it seriously felt like I was going to the bathroom and couldnt control it! It was so weird. It didnt take long for the contractions to start! They were pretty intense, which I hear in pretty common when put on pitocin. But I felt like I handled them pretty well... which is saying a lot, because lets be honest here, Im kind of a baby. The doctor had strongly encouraged me to have an epidural because of all the pelvic pain I had during my pregnancy. So I knew eventually I would have some relief.
It didnt really take too long before I was ready for it, I got checked and was told I had to have a colt test to make sure my blood would clot so it was safe to get an epidural. I passed (thank goodness) and then got the wonderful epidural. It was kind of nerve wrecking to sit there during some pretty intense contractions and try not to move!
It started to kick in quickly but had a hard time getting both legs, so I waited and the contractions began to soften and it was such a heavenly feeling.

Then things slightly took a turn for the worse.. My epidural started to wear off.. I had so much adrenaline running in my body that I was constantly getting the shakes and then my contractions began to make my whole body feel like it was freaking out, and then the pain came back very quickly! So the nurses called back up the anesthesiologist who the gave me another shot of meds. I seriously couldn't have been more thankful to see anyone ever in my life! After that I couldn't feel anything from the waist down and contractions just felt like pressure.
It didn't take long till the nurses were back to check me again, and good thing too because in the span of about 50 min I went from a four to a ten and it was time to start pushing.

I had such good luck that day because not only did I have my normal nurse but I had a new nurse to the baby unit and a Byu Idaho student in the nursing program about to graduate with me as well. It was so nice to have so much help and support!
So when it was time to start pushing the student nurse and Zach had to help me because I had no feeling in my legs at all and couldn't lift them up. It was seriously a crazy feeling. I thought this would be the hardest part of the whole thing, but honestly I believe it was the easiest. I couldn't feel anything but pressure, and I only had to push for less then an hour. They barely had time to call the doctor, and when he did come in and I was in the position to deliver he only had time to put his robe on before she came out. I didn't even push, she came out with the contraction to a glove less doctor! After that I think I was in more shock than anything else. They laid her on my chest and I just remember looking at Zach and kind of thinking, this is her?! This is real?! But after that things got really fuzzy. The doctor had started to finish things up and I started feeling very warm and flushed and I really didn't know what was going on. They took her off of me because they wee afraid I would drop her, and the next thing I know I have an oxygen mask on and they are giving me a shot and my doctor is working some more. At the time we really didn't know how bad the situation was, but I'm very grateful my doctor kept it a bit under wraps because I definitely feel like I would have freaked out a lot more if I would have known. A few days later we found out I lost a considerable amount of blood and the doctor was having trouble figuring out how to stop it, scary I know! The whole ordeal forced me to stay in the hospital longer than normal. I ended up being stuck in bed for almost a day and a half hooked up to all kinds of stuff and being closely monitored in case I would need a blood transfusion. So on Saturday after our visitors arrived (mom and gram), and I made it around the hall way of the baby and mom unit without passing out, I was able to go home!

To make the next few weeks story a little shorter I will just skip most of the lovely details.. but it was rough... I had a really hard time feeling normal again from the loss of the blood. Miss Ellie is a great baby and I dont know what I would have done without all the help from our families!!

Now we are slowly getting back into the swing of things, and trying to figure out this new life we have together. She is still doing really well!

As of right now she will be 5 weeks on Thursday! I cant believe its been that long already. I already have forgotten what it feels like to be pregnant! Its so weird!

-She loves her Dad and is always really good for him! Well with the exception that he always seems to get the really bad diapers! (Sorry Zach!)
-She hates to have her arms swaddled and they are usually always up by her face.
-She is grunty and snorty all the time! And has to sleep in the other room because of it! thanks goodness for baby monitors!
- She loves to be patted on the back and thats usually how she falls asleep.
- She eats out of a bottle like a champ, but doesnt take a Binky that much.
- She loves to be in the water in her bath, but hates getting out!
-She blows bubbles with her mouth when she is sleeping.
-She is the bestest little girl ever, and we love her so much!!!

 

 

 

Leaving the hospital!

 

Rarely wears head bands because she gets really mad!

 

Happy Halloween

 

shes kind of little : )

 

 

Didnt want to get out of the bath!

 

yesterday!